Citizen Columns
Question
Parishioners go to the their clergyman to confess sins and talk out problems. But who does the clergy go to?
Answer
You've touched a sensitive issue. The fact is, many clergy don't go to anyone and the results are what you would expect: isolation, depression, addictions, marriage and family breakdown. Fortunately, the days of the all-wise pastor who can do all things and bear all things has given way to a more balanced and humane model. Indeed, one of our main roles, I feel, is to simply live out our faith in public, with as much joy, honesty and integrity as we can, even when it's "a cold and broken hallelujah."
Even Jesus needed the company and friendship of others. He prays deeply to his Father, alone, but it is always poignant to me how he asks for his closest disciples to stay with him in Gethsemane when his soul was most sorrowful, "even unto death" (Mark 14:34). Not that he talks everything out with them, but he needs them to know what he's feeling and to be near him.
We shouldn't minimize the role of prayer here. Read the Psalms. Their power is often fuelled by a deep distress or deep joy that comes from having nowhere else to turn. But normally, our tradition expects the clergy-like everyone else - to have another human being with whom they can be completely honest about the good, the bad and the ugly in their lives.
Usually, this is a fellow priest or bishop. Sometimes a small number of clergy friends get together. Most Orthodox clergy are married, and they naturally share the joys and stresses of ministry with their spouses. And clergy, like anyone else, can also benefit from a professional counsellor at times. Every personal issue has a spiritual dimension, but every spiritual issue also has psychological and emotional dimensions as well.
Father John Jillions
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