Citizen Columns
Question
Parents come to you distraught because their teenage child has dropped the family faith for shamanism or wicca. What do you say to the child?
Answer
I would begin with the parents. We all know that the teenage years are a time for trying to figure out who we are, who God is-if he/she is-and how we fit into the universe. Of course that can be painful for parents who have built their life around "the family faith". But parents need to respect their child's desire to explore this deepest dimension of human existence. Go on line, read. Find out as much as you can about the groups your child is joining (most require parental consent).
Shamanism and wicca often attract people through their gentle, holistic, nature-imbued practice of spirituality. As parents learn more about the spiritual interests of their child, they may find themselves surprised but also chastened. They may discover depths they hadn't seen before. They may also realize that the family faith, at least as they perhaps have practiced it, does not satisfy the inner longings of their child. If they show respectful interest they will also be able to engage in respectful dissent.
Parents don't need to merely cheerlead their child's every choice and can raise critical questions (and no religion is immune to frauds). Your child needs to know that you have your own convictions purchased at the price of your own life experience, traumas and reflection. Did you yourself go through periods of questioning and rejection? How did you come to follow the family faith? Or did you take a different path?
I would take a similar approach with the son or daughter, and would recommend as well a recent book by Marjorie Corbman, written when she was 17. She describes the spiritual search that took her through wicca in A Tiny Step Away From Deepest Faith: A Teenager's Search For Meaning (2005). She ended her journey (thus far) with Christ, but found much that was God-inspired along the way.
Father John Jillions
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